There have been many times in my recovery where I have felt unworthy of the love, help, and support I’ve received. There have been times when I have felt like such a financial, physical, and/or mental burden on my loved ones that I thought the world would be better off if I just died. Sometimes I wondered, “What’s the point? This isn’t just hard on me. This is hard on everyone around me! Is my recovery really worth that much to everyone around me?”
Looking back at my recovery process now, I see that true recovery only comes when one receives the care of those around them like a child, who happily and graciously accepts the gifts, love, and care of those around them, without inhibition, and without question. A child does not do anything to earn the love and care they are given, and yet, they happily and willingly accept it. Allowing others to care and support us during our recovery, is allowing others to participate in their role as the healing body of Christ. I’m reminded of this passage from the Gospel of Mark:
And people were bringing children to him that he might touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this he became indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not prevent them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Amen, I say to you, whoever does not accept the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it.” Then he embraced them and blessed them, placing his hands on them (Mark 10:13-16).
In recovery, it is common to feel like a helpless child, unable to care for oneself. It is also common to feel unworthy of the help and care we need. In the times that we feel unworthy, let us remember that Christ is alive in our caretakers. We should not hesitate to embrace and accept the recovery He wishes to give us through others. Let us remember this passage from Mark and the words of St. Theresa the Little Flower in her book, Story of a Soul, “Jesus does not demand great actions from us but simply surrender and gratitude.”
